Confessionals
One of the relatively new bloggers I read wrote a post yesterday about starting out to write a journal of sorts and then being intimidated when people started commenting. She complained of no longer feeling free to write honestly for fear of how her readers might take things. She was at a fork in the road and didn't know whether to delete the blog or try and just write honestly.
This person had been sharing pretty intimate information about her struggle to get pregnant for quite some time. Last week she wrote of another ultrasound where they could see the 6 1/2 week old fetus but couldn't hear a heartbeat. She wrote of her doctor's warning that they needed test again in a week and if the pregnancy was healthy, they'd hear a heartbeat. If not it ment there was no longer a pregnancy.
Then today she posted that she'd had an ultrasound and discovered that she was no longer pregnant.
And the commentors...including Buffalo dung...one after one wrote platitudes about being sorry.
I couldn't comment. What could I say? I barely know this person yet I had just read something brutely personal about her. I am hurt for her and know she must be devastated yet I feel it would almost cheapen the confession for me to say something meaningless.
When she wrote that she was no longer pregnant, I wanted to scream that no...no, that wasn't the way to write this script. We all wanted hear that her months of trying to get pregnant had been worth it and that she was carrying a healthy baby. That wasn't the way things were supposed to work out.
This is the downside of writing about your personal life in a blog. It's like letting strangers rummage through your underwear drawer or medicine cabinet. How do I process this information? Do I treat it like those people I see on the news? Strangers suffering misfortunes. I can tsk, tsk and move on because I really don't know them.
But blogging forces you to be more involved. You are strangers, but not strangers. You care, but you aren't really part of each other's lives.
Are you?
This person had been sharing pretty intimate information about her struggle to get pregnant for quite some time. Last week she wrote of another ultrasound where they could see the 6 1/2 week old fetus but couldn't hear a heartbeat. She wrote of her doctor's warning that they needed test again in a week and if the pregnancy was healthy, they'd hear a heartbeat. If not it ment there was no longer a pregnancy.
Then today she posted that she'd had an ultrasound and discovered that she was no longer pregnant.
And the commentors...including Buffalo dung...one after one wrote platitudes about being sorry.
I couldn't comment. What could I say? I barely know this person yet I had just read something brutely personal about her. I am hurt for her and know she must be devastated yet I feel it would almost cheapen the confession for me to say something meaningless.
When she wrote that she was no longer pregnant, I wanted to scream that no...no, that wasn't the way to write this script. We all wanted hear that her months of trying to get pregnant had been worth it and that she was carrying a healthy baby. That wasn't the way things were supposed to work out.
This is the downside of writing about your personal life in a blog. It's like letting strangers rummage through your underwear drawer or medicine cabinet. How do I process this information? Do I treat it like those people I see on the news? Strangers suffering misfortunes. I can tsk, tsk and move on because I really don't know them.
But blogging forces you to be more involved. You are strangers, but not strangers. You care, but you aren't really part of each other's lives.
Are you?
7 Comments:
You just put all of my frustrations down perfectly. We read these intensely personal issues involving (what are supposed to be) perfect strangers. But, they're not. It's so impersonal to say the typical "I'm sorry for your loss". It's the same when really great things happen to someone, "I'm so happy for you." All the responses begin to look the same. I get soooo tired of reading, "You go baby girl" for the 100th time. Because I've noticed the repeatative, often-times insincere responses, I just can't come up with something new that will also sound genuine.
This post you wrote would have been the best response for you to give her. However, considering that the blog is public and your response would be right along with all the rest... you can't really.
This is generally why I hide behind humor. Occasionally I slip in a sensitive issue for me, but I am protected because more often than not, people don't know whether I am goofing or not. It's worked for me since grade school.
Oh and I relate completely to your comment about the comments. I feel sometimes as if people are signing my yearbook with the same inscription over and over "You are so funny, stay real, have a great summer and I can't wait to be seniors."
Ohhhh GOD!!! It IS just like yearbooks. What a perfect analogy. How about "I'm the first person to sign your crack?" Wait... maybe I'm the only one who had freaks sign my yearbook.
I am so glad that I'm not the only one feeling that. And there is only so much I can take of the inappropriate sexual innuendo from horney old men. It's neither funny nor charming. But, ya end up humoring them cause what else are ya gonna do?
No one ever wrote they were the first to "sign my crack." I feel slighted.
As for putting up with innuendo from horny old men (of which I'm afraid I was guilty of...the innuendo part, but hopefully not too much of the pitiful letch part), you have every right to point out you don't appreciate it nor accept it. So what if you offend an asshole? Is it better that you allow them to continue to offend you instead?
You were never guilty of that Tim. You are neither an old man or a letch. I think you know which men I'm talking about. I appreciate good humor and innuendo, but when everything I talk about (including thumbnails) becomes an opportunity to suggest something sexual, we have a problem.
If it were a private forum I would be able to politely call someone on their inappropriate comment, but on the blog it just seems easier to let it go over my head.
I do not pretend to know you, but in your comments and reactions I've picked up that you don't like to hurt or disappoint people. You put other's feelings before your own. Some people don't deserve that courtesy.
I'm the same way. I hate confrontation. But as you've seen from my bile ridden rants here, I still get angry. I really wish I could just not care what other people think. It would make blogging lots easier.
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