Don Quixote by Miquel de Cervantes, Chapter VIII, Paragraphs 16-end.

PARAGRAPH 16: Sancho bade him remember it was dinner-time, to which his master answered that he wanted nothing himself just then, but that he might eat when he had a mind. With this permission Sancho settled himself as comfortably as he could on his beast, and taking out of the alforjas what he had stowed away in them, he jogged along behind his master munching deliberately, and from time to time taking a pull at the bota with a relish that the thirstiest tapster in Malaga might have envied; and while he went on in this way, gulping down draught
after draught, he never gave a thought to any of the promises his master had made him, nor did he rate it as hardship but rather as recreation going in quest of adventures, however dangerous they might be. Finally they passed the night among some trees, from one of which Don Quixote plucked a dry branch to serve him after a fashion as a lance, and fixed on it the head he had removed from the broken one. All that night Don Quixote lay awake thinking of his lady Dulcinea, in order to conform to what he had read in his books, how many a night in the forests and deserts knights used to lie sleepless supported by the memory of their mistresses. Not so did Sancho Panza spend it, for having his stomach full of something stronger than chicory water he made but one sleep of it, and, if his master had not called him, neither the rays of the sun beating on his face nor all the cheery notes of the birds welcoming the approach of day would have had power to waken him. On getting up he tried the bota and found it somewhat less full than the night before, which grieved his heart because they did not seem to be on the way to remedy the deficiency readily. Don Quixote did not care to break his fast, for, as has been already said, he confined himself to savoury recollections for nourishment.

TIM'S OBSERVATIONS ON PARAGRAPH 16:
Sancho reminds Don Quixote that it is dinner time. The Don isn't hungry but tells Sancho to eat whenever he wants. He pulls out his grub and bota bag of wine and chows down while he rides behind Don Quixote. Sancho apparently can suck down the grape in pretty big portions. He is feeling no pain and not worrying about a thing when they stop for the night to sleep under some trees. Sancho quickly passes out while Don Quixote breaks off a tree branch and slaps his broken spear point on it. He then lays back and fantasizes about Dulcinea while Sancho sleeps. He has to shake Sancho awake in the morning and they set off with the Don still not eating. Sancho gets a bit worried when he sees how much of his wine supply he has consumed and wonders how he will get a refill on the road.

CHAPTER 17: They returned to the road they had set out with, leading to Puerto Lapice, and at three in the afternoon they came in sight of it. "Here, brother Sancho Panza," said Don Quixote when he saw it, "we may plunge our hands up to the elbows in what they call adventures; but observe, even shouldst thou see me in the greatest danger in the world, thou must not put a hand to thy sword in my defence, unless indeed thou perceivest that those who assail me are rabble or base folk; for in that case thou mayest very properly aid me; but if they be knights it is on no account permitted or allowed thee by the laws of knighthood to help me until thou hast been dubbed a knight."

TIM'S OBSERVATIONS ON PARAGRAPH 17:
They get back on the road to the town of Puerto Lapice and catch sight of it about 3 p.m. Don Quixote tells Sancho that they are about to have another adventure but warns Sancho not to get involved with any of the fighting unless the Don is dealing with non-knights (it is a union thing).

PARAGRAPH 18:"Most certainly, senor," replied Sancho, "your worship shall be fully obeyed in this matter; all the more as of myself I am peaceful and no friend to mixing in strife and quarrels: it is true that as regards the defence of my own person I shall not give much heed to those laws, for laws human and divine allow each one to defend himself against any assailant whatever."

TIM'S OBSERVATIONS ON PARAGRAPH 18:
Sancho assures Don Quixote that he will have no problem avoiding helping in a fight.

PARAGRAPH 19:"That I grant," said Don Quixote, "but in this matter of aiding me against knights thou must put a restraint upon thy natural impetuosity."

PARAGRAPH 20:"I will do so, I promise you," answered Sancho, "and will keep this precept as carefully as Sunday."

TIM'S OBSERVATIONS ON PARAGRAPHS 19-20:
Don Quixote tells Sancho to be sure he doesn't help him fight any knights. Sancho once again reassures him that he will honor that request the way he honors the Sabbath.

PARAGRAPH 21: While they were thus talking there appeared on the road two friars of the order of St. Benedict, mounted on two dromedaries, for not less tall were the two mules they rode on. They wore travelling spectacles and carried sunshades; and behind them came a coach attended by four or five persons on horseback and two muleteers on foot. In the coach there was, as afterwards appeared, a Biscay lady on her way to Seville, where her husband was about to take passage for the Indies with an appointment of high honour. The friars, though going the same road, were not in her company; but the moment Don Quixote perceived them he said to his squire, "Either I am mistaken, or this is going to be the most famous adventure that has ever been seen, for those black bodies we see there must be, and doubtless are, magicians who are carrying off some stolen princess in that coach, and with all my might I must undo this wrong."

TIM'S OBSERVATIONS ON PARAGRAPH 21:
While they are sitting there reassuring each other that Sancho won't lift a finger in a fight two Benedictine priests on mules ride by followed by a coach with a lady in it on her way to meet up with her husband in Seville where they were catching a ship to the Indies (an early Caribbean cruise). Don Quixote mistakenly thinks the priest are magicians who have kidnapped the woman.

PARAGRAPH 22:"This will be worse than the windmills," said Sancho. "Look, senor; those are friars of St. Benedict, and the coach plainly belongs to some travellers: I tell you to mind well what you are about and don't let the devil mislead you."

PARAGRAPH 23:"I have told thee already, Sancho," replied Don Quixote, "that on the subject of adventures thou knowest little. What I say is the truth, as thou shalt see presently."

TIM'S OBSERVATIONS ON PARAGRAPHS 22-23:
Sancho tells Don Quixote that he is wrong. They are just two priest riding separately from the lady and her entourage. Don Quixote once again tells Sancho he doesn't know squat about adventures.

PARAGRAPH 24: So saying, he advanced and posted himself in the middle of the road along which the friars were coming, and as soon as he thought they had come near enough to hear what he said, he cried aloud, "Devilish and unnatural beings, release instantly the highborn princesses whom you are carrying off by force in this coach, else prepare to meet a speedy death as the just punishment of your evil deeds."

TIM'S OBSERVATIONS ON PARAGRAPH 24:
So Don Quixote rides into the middle of the road, blocking it and tells the priests to stop and let the princess go.

PARAGRAPH 25: The friars drew rein and stood wondering at the appearance of Don Quixote as well as at his words, to which they replied, "Senor Caballero, we are not devilish or unnatural, but two brothers of St. Benedict following our road, nor do we know whether or not there are any captive princesses coming in this coach."

TIM'S OBSERVATIONS ON PARAGRAPH 25:
The priests stopped and tell the Don Quixote that they are priests and not kidnappers.

PARAGRAPH 26:"No soft words with me, for I know you, lying rabble," said Don Quixote, and without waiting for a reply he spurred Rocinante and with levelled lance charged the first friar with such fury and determination, that, if the friar had not flung himself off the mule, he would have brought him to the ground against his will, and sore wounded, if not killed outright. The second brother, seeing how his comrade was treated, drove his heels into his castle of a mule and made off across the country faster than the wind.

TIM'S OBSERVATIONS ON PARAGRAPH 26:
Don Quixote attacks and the first priest jumps off his mule to avoid being killed. The other priest turns tail and runs.

PARAGRAPH 27: Sancho Panza, when he saw the friar on the ground, dismounting briskly from his ass, rushed towards him and began to strip off his gown. At that instant the friars muleteers came up and asked what he was stripping him for. Sancho answered them that this fell to him lawfully as spoil of the battle which his lord Don Quixote had won. The muleteers, who had no idea of a joke and did not understand all this about battles and spoils, seeing that Don Quixote was some distance off talking to the travellers in the coach, fell upon Sancho, knocked him down, and leaving hardly a hair in his beard, belaboured him with kicks and left him stretched breathless and senseless on the ground; and without any more delay helped the friar to mount, who, trembling, terrified, and pale, as soon as he found himself in the saddle, spurred after his companion, who was standing at a distance looking on, watching the result of the onslaught; then, not caring to wait for the end of the affair just begun, they pursued their journey making more crosses than if they had the devil after them.

TIM'S OBSERVATIONS ON PARAGRAPH 27:
Like a good squire, Sancho gets off his ass and begins to strip the priest on the ground of his goods. The priest's muleteers (essentially servants who handle the mules and supplies) ask Sancho what the hecky darn he is doing. He tells them that the priest was knocked down in a battle with his lord, Don Quixote, and all of the priest's stuff now belonged to him because he won it fair and square. The muleteers proceed to kick the bejesus out of Sancho, help the priest back on his mule and ride off to catch up with the other priest.

PARAGRAPH 28: Don Quixote was, as has been said, speaking to the lady in the coach: "Your beauty, lady mine," said he, "may now dispose of your person as may be most in accordance with your pleasure, for the pride of your ravishers lies prostrate on the ground through this strong arm of mine; and lest you should be pining to know the name of your deliverer, know that I am called Don Quixote of La Mancha, knight-errant and adventurer, and captive to the peerless and beautiful lady Dulcinea del Toboso: and in return for the service you have received of me I ask no more than that you should return to El Toboso, and on my behalf present yourself before that lady and tell her what I have done to set you free."

TIM'S OBSERVATIONS ON PARAGRAPH 28:
While Sancho is getting his ass kicked (not his donkey either), Don Quixote is chatting up the lady in the carriage and telling her he has freed her from her kidnappers and all he asks is that she put in a good word for him with Dulcinea.

PARAGRAPH 29: One of the squires in attendance upon the coach, a Biscayan, was listening to all Don Quixote was saying, and, perceiving that he would not allow the coach to go on, but was saying it must return at once to El Toboso, he made at him, and seizing his lance addressed him in bad Castilian and worse Biscayan after his fashion, "Begone, caballero, and ill go with thee; by the God that made me, unless thou quittest coach, slayest thee as art here a Biscayan."

TIM'S OBSERVATIONS ON PARAGRAPH 29:
One of the lady's squires grabs Don Quixote's lance and tells him to piss off or he would kill him.

PARAGRAPH 30:Don Quixote understood him quite well, and answered him very quietly, "Ifthou wert a knight, as thou art none, I should have already chastised thy folly and rashness, miserable creature." To which the Biscayan returned, "I no gentleman! -I swear to God thou liest as I am Christian: if thou droppest lance and drawest sword, soon shalt thou see thou art carrying water to the cat: Biscayan on land, hidalgo at sea, hidalgo at the devil, and look, if thou sayest otherwise thou liest."

TIM'S OBSERVATIONS ON PARAGRAPH 30:
Don Quixote tells the squire that he would kick his ass if he was a knight and not a squire. The squire tells him to drop the lance and draw his sword and he'd show him what a squire could do.

PARAGRAPH 31:"You will see presently," said Agrajes,'" replied Don Quixote; and throwing his lance on the ground he drew his sword, braced his buckler on his arm, and attacked the Biscayan, bent upon taking his life.

TIM'S OBSERVATIONS ON PARAGRAPH 31:
Don Quixote says the equivalent of, "Oh, yeah" and draws his sword and attacks the squire.

PARAGRAPH 32:The Biscayan, when he saw him coming on, though he wished to dismount from his mule, in which, being one of those sorry ones let out for hire, he had no confidence, had no choice but to draw his sword; it was lucky for him, however, that he was near the coach, from which he was able to snatch a cushion that served him for a shield; and they went at one another as if they had been two mortal enemies. The others strove to make peace between them, but could not, for the Biscayan declared in his disjointed phrase that if they did not let him finish his battle he would kill his mistress and everyone that strove to prevent him. The lady in the coach, amazed and terrified at what she saw, ordered the coachman to draw aside a little, and set herself to watch this severe struggle, in the course of which the Biscayan smote Don Quixote a mighty stroke on the shoulder over the top of his buckler, which, given to one without armour, would have cleft him to the waist. Don Quixote, feeling the weight of this prodigious blow, cried aloud, saying, "O lady of my soul, Dulcinea, flower of beauty, come to the aid of this your knight, who, in fulfilling his obligations to your beauty, finds himself in this extreme peril." To say this, to lift his sword, to shelter himself well behind his buckler, and to assail the Biscayan was the work of an instant, determined as he was to venture all upon a single blow. The Biscayan, seeing him come on in this way, was convinced of his courage by his spirited bearing, and resolved to follow his example, so he waited for him keeping well under cover of his cushion, being unable to execute any sort of manoeuvre with his mule, which, dead tired and never meant for this kind of game, could not stir a step.

TIM'S OBSERVATIONS ON PARAGRAPH 32:
The squire draws his sword to defend himself. He also grabs a cushion from the coach to use as a shield. The others try to stop them, but the squire is pissed. He strikes a blow to Don Quixote's shouder that shakes him up a bit. He calls on Dulcinea to give him strength and then attacks the squire who sits there on his tired mule waiting with his cushion and sword in hand.

PARAGRAPH 33: On, then, as aforesaid, came Don Quixote against the wary Biscayan, with uplifted sword and a firm intention of splitting him in half, while on his side the Biscayan waited for him sword in hand, and under the protection of his cushion; and all present stood trembling, waiting in suspense the result of blows such as threatened to fall, and the lady in the coach and the rest of her following were making a thousand vows and offerings to all the images and shrines of Spain, that God might deliver her squire and all of them from this great peril in which they found themselves. But it spoils all, that at this point and crisis the author of the history leaves this battle impending, giving as excuse that he could find nothing more written about these achievements of Don Quixote than what has been already set forth. It is true the second author of this work was unwilling to believe that a history so curious could have been allowed to fall under the sentence of oblivion, or that the wits of La Mancha could have been so undiscerning as not to preserve in their archives orregistries some documents referring to this famous knight; and this being his persuasion, he did not despair of finding the conclusion of this pleasant history, which, heaven favouring him, he did find in a way that shall be related in the Second Part.

TIM'S OBSERVATIONS ON PARAGRAPH 33:
Cervantes, cop out that he is, leaves the battle here, saying he couldn't find anything written about how it turns out. That sucks. He better come up with something better in the next chapter or I will be really pissed off.