Welcome to the first edition of the internet "Dog and Pony Show"
Remember: Please keep your half of the ticket as it will be your pass in and out of the show
Because of our somewhat limited budget, the show is rather short and uneventful. Because of this no public restrooms are provided. There are, however, half-price matinees every weekend. Please take advantage of these tremendous savings. We are looking for some "Big Internet Talent" to scout. This is challenging, for many reasons. Not the least of which is our rather anemic capacity to draw large crowds. There may be a remuneration connection to this problem, or it may be because we can't pay any thing. Another example of the viscous cycle we call life. Please sit back and enjoy the show.
Well, I am sure that you found the show as simulating yet curiously restful as our many previously satisfied customers. As you prepare to disembark, please return your mouse to it's fully upright and locked position.
If you would like to direct comments, questions, menu suggestions or Carhartt fashion tips to James, please do so in the conveniently placed receptacles located near the exits.
"Watch our customer service representatives carefully process your response:"
Attention Dog and Pony Show 4.01 users:
If you have purchased the upgrade to Big Dog and Pony 2000, which will be obsolete in... Oh, uh, never mind, please insert your ATM card into the slot located conveniently below and enter your PIN number. Your upgrade upgrade will be sent to you as soon as the funds clear. Honest.