Phoenix
by Dale J. Sprague
Op. 6 The Ark
Cantos Two Cantos Three Cantos Four
Prologue
The manner in which changes of evolution become forever is far greater, more subtle and gentle than whatever I could render. Moving from uncertain beginnings, these movements can only be a testimony of the meager knowledge and sensitivity I have aside what truly was, is, and will be. With limited words, only a fragile cell can I fashion. With limited vision, we seek cognitive beginnings, for each beginning is a portal into a separate universe. As we draw near, we travel with the one within whom time becomes a seer..for only with such vision can time abundantly give..endless enough for the sensitivity of our deep to emerge and live
Proem for the Ark
From the sun and Earth long ago married, has life adapted and flourished. From a fertilized seed I floundered, and raised'up to crawl. I stood tall to perfect crawling, I walked to perfect standing, and ran to perfect walking...then ran and ran to feel perfect. From the delicate magic of father spirit's aura, from the fertile womb of my earthly alpha, in the moon I feel a life'giving vision. As life evolved hardy and errant, in spirit and body its memory I inherit. From all this, have I been delivered since the beginning, when a ray of sun sought a fertile sea. Life still clings to its earthly womb, and I, having been freed, and having played to exhaustion, and fought to conclusion, having wished long and aspired far, feel this sea, its memory, its gentle calling
Cantos One
1 Time, space, and matter, the physical nature of things and the nature of life are the events of creation. And where we are within the nature of our senses, the subtle forces are the powers that bind, and the powerful forces are only for a limited time. And all we know are the effects of conflicting infinities of mind, dichotomies of Will between the one and many within
2 Within this world of effects, I plummet into the smallest of small until changing masses of light indicate to me where single bodies of spirit are but ghosts...probabilities beyond the inclination of my mind to capture them in suspended time
Yet, they nevertheless appear as delicate and fleeting as matter is reluctant to reveal itself...appearing as red, yellow, blue, and green, the cosmos is brilliance beaming, gleaming through openings in the opaque mist where I see the heven'bowe, made also of yellow, red, blue, and many others. All delicate infinities within the vastness that is the cosmos are one through the inevitable spiral that one small body makes to a larger one...in deep space..where I must be very careful with my thought, because here, the mind is intense, and within an artificial day thought can soar unleashed, making me the center. And as the center, amid the vastness, in my smallness, I would make weighty the slightest events...where dark voids are the borders of dreams, where wantonness for answers now, would give me the experience of eternity..of eternal unrest
3 We are in deep space. Within the swirling arms of a large radiant body, we are where creation breaks down and the radiance of matter is given in all directions. We are within a galactic body spinning inward with many families of starry bodies, and we move imperceptibly around the soft incandescent glow of its heart. Around us, vast bodies of void are made. They are curved passageways through the cognitive universes, and we are within one, within its current, wynding and spiraling outward, as we journey inward
So large is the universe that countless generations of lives would pass to see only more void. Generations of a great civilization would see little more in neighboring starry clusters than what their ancestors, thousands of years before were able to see..for great seas of space separate the starry clusters, and within the midst of this apparent timelessness, we are moving, traveling, drifting infinitudes..mysterious essence, steady'state substance
Reaching out through my thresholds, reaching with these limitations, before me are black voids where light enters but does not leave. And as for the memory in the sparkling night of galaxies long since passed, their light has yet to arrive from some ancient time. How great and vast, how endless the Cosmos is! Yet, how profoundly bounded it is, as I am specifically bound and especially formed by my own limitations
I sense galactic bodies. I see them in all directions..yet, I know not which is from the same, which is not! And now, there is the race of illusions through unending space through endless beginnings and endings of time, for evolutions arise from violent beginnings where infinities of Will meet infirmaries of mind and implode..exploding into a brilliant radiance boldly expanding in all directions
From matter, already configured with attitude, comes matter self aware effecting attitude. As a matter of course in an active conscious life, the most extreme attitude is the most manipulative, the most manipulable. The least extreme is the least manipulable and the most endurable
We are the life, the experience, and the vision that expresses itself in every bit of substance. Here and now where time and space is meaningless, into the vastness we pass, the vast space re'passing into us, through us, through our many portals, we are born committed to a journey within these rapid currents of space, and fated to the destinies of newborn creations
These that say 'I am' are my dimensions, origins of perception. From the delicate substance of stars are dreams fashioned. From the solitudes of dreams does substance emerge into great oceans of space. Beyond a lifetime, far beyond many lifetimes, bits of matter self aware gather and re'gather, like with like, and disperse into the great emptiness beyond. They gather into great galaxies, within which life may have evolved several times over again before the image of one starry metropolis is able to reach another
Suspended bits of consciousness amass within eddies of streaming space..within vast quiet pools of space, they collect in great numbers because the sum of all matter, space, and time is always changing, expanding, pooling...eons streaming, space abounding!...light convoluting, matter compounding
Since the beginning of what we can see, free space has accommodated many evolutions of thought. Inspiration, a mighty scythe...death and re'birth freshen and re'freshen color, vision..sound and fragrance. Reaching out, I feel deepened, and once again, feel intensely this now, this sensation of I, this I'am
4 Where the senses change, portals into creation change, and the universe is changed. Amid universes in transition is hinterspace. Within hinterspace, the path of one's reason is wandering, meandering, stumbling, recovering and ever clearing itself to reflect one's own special convolutions of light. And ever deeper grows its shadow, ever longer and darker. Amid expanding space and conscious light, my deep stretches out to wherever the mind is..to wherever radiant tentacles of a sun span throughout many galaxy systems. And when all the self'conscious eyes become weary, cognition wavers, and self reflection deteriorates old rafters of belief we be, disintegrating old webs of thought between them into dust scattering throughout the vastness of dark empathy. They become utterly disintegrated, disassociated, but charged by the light of a star, the birth of a new mind is given. The radiance of light heightens..the disintegration of its fiery surface maddens for its own sake. For the sake of even more space, metric volumes of void pass and outstretch all affinities for matter self'aware. Such knowing too compounded, or too singular, isolates too much
The gravity of substance wavers, the immortals waver contemplating the finite, for this place called hinterspace is given by life..and when a portion of conscience should lapse into unconscious sleep, this now self'aware also disappears, and we know the emptiness darkly. We are refreshened with its oblivion
5 Throughout the distant reaches of creation, there are the immense seas of space, and the rivers of space that feed great oceans of void. Above, below, ahead, and behind us, the brightness of swirling bodies of light and matter sparkle like radiant diamonds. They are seen through rivers of clear space streaming, through seas of void drifting. The wandering rivers are like the cool clearness of a fresh'born brook making its way to the vast waters of a primordial sea. Throughout all the vast stretches of mind, great rivers of void begin from willful distortions of space and time. Motion and dimension cease. The stars give all moods of color. Radiant beams expand in all directions, and end only..when gathered into an image of a star within us
The stars in the heavens are upon indefinite journeys. Paths of light become lost within great bodies of dust. Vast dark bodies discharge their captured light as red sullen heat. Each image of a star we see is a mirage of the past, and they find their way through the many streams of clear space to link, through their many forms, eddies of space with the starry metropoli beyond
And starry bodies everywhere are formed from the solitudes of a vast dimly connected consciousness, for wherever we turn in space, blackness surrounds us. We feel deep darkness around clear channels through which images of the past shine..through which we move and sense gentle heat from dark space where countless images from every direction, near and far, enter its immense system of minute particulate matter..a dark ocean where mirages of the past end by their own dispersion and distortion. I feel currents of space passing through me. I sense gentle streaming of disconnected illusions merging and separating around me. The many starry bodies brighten and fade, the patches of dark darken, the dust gathers, and another murky disarranged body of dust becomes a warm embryo of a star
6 All around me are brilliant flashes of intense heat. Giant momentary masses of heavy radiant substance suddenly erupt, and violently disrupt to make stormy seas of space and time. With so much chaos everywhere, the absence of meaning bears its pungent mask within this imponderable firmament of space and light. I feel a profound silence, a new stillness..in this calmness, I drift. I feel the living, everything is alive around me. I feel a vast clearness, for I am living within a great universe, within a glittery menagerie of ancient lights. The old stillness in me is awakened by something new, something radiant. It is broad and deep...I feel it..into me does it slowly seep. Within it, I feel this ancient eye can sleep
In this eternal night, I see the starry lights shining, randomly blinking in all colors, knowing not which are one or more than one, which are far'off or closeby. Within this universe am I, firmly rooted..and from life given darkly I shall give, wherever my deep can freely live
7 For our mind, whatever size it should happen to be, we need spacetime. We need pure clear space. We need light, its consciousness narrowed, configured, and convoluted..so the bones of spirit may become resilient, so we may stand and listen to the teachings of the spirit in every bit of substance
Through space so clear, we come to be upon a journey when matter weighing upon itself becomes too heavy to bear. Small streams and rivers of space emerge and flow into one another..into vast regions of emptiness, they join and rejoin until the radiance of stars freely passes through. In this space, we feel quiet solitude and the menagerie of glittering images it holds
As regions of limpid void become greater around us, we are soothed by its simple clarity. I feel soft darkness, and I am struck softly by radiant light. Its peace is profound, and I am moved deeply, for it far exceeds what I am..this ocean by far, is greater than whatever I could be. There must be then, somewhere in this bit of universe, space and time enough for my ancient quest to find its end, and come to rest. Aye! Eons of eternities are needed for the delicate moderations between outer and inner convolutions..even only to just simply be..a living dream'state, to know the eternities of life, to perceive beyond the lifetime of a star..to turn inward and feel the existence!..and extend outward, and be a part of manifest creation
8 Amid the heavens, within the confines of time, I feel the ancient light of an old universe glitter at the end of its journey within me. Nearby, within a swirling arm of a starry metropolis, the star of a molten earth slowly revolves with other stars, all a'collecting unto themselves the many species of matter according to their nature and abundances. Upon this sun, radiant plasma surging, ascending high, arching and falling into itself, packs into deep compression. From this sun, steady streaming of radiant imponderable might seeps deeply into all matter, into all that matters, into all of me. Moving through quiet stillness, upon a journey toward a sea of new light, this starry body is more than just a source of light...it is a foundation upon which definitions of space and time endure, upon which brilliant light'beams gather and flow out in all directions. Into far distant places they flow into darkened voids..flowing, penetrating, permeating..co'mingling with matter, and gathering through the courses of time to become perhaps, another starry body, or many of them
Fires from the deep of supercritical matter arise to make new substance. And all substance within the starry bodies breaks down into the finest ethers, into eternities of hinterspace, breaking down to where the laws of creation do not seem apparent, except those made by thought. All matter forms again and again within the inferno radiance of the stars. Matter compounding upon itself to be a star. Emptiness and oceans of void, eternities of silence cause matter to turn into itself. In many sizes and formations do the foundations of matter emerge, emerging to create a rhythm around a starry body so specifically formed from the dint of its bright..concussions of space pulsate. The many moons finely attune. The eternity of void subdues. The earthen floor cools violent upheavals of flaming molten spirit, and the ascended spirits are calmed by the quiet darkness there. We feel the assurance of its mass and the inescapable relation it has with other masses
And so it was, from a deep distant past, from the present and distant future that will pass in like manner, out of the un'selfconscious dust, a self'conscious eye having aged with the stars gives birth to a self'conscious mind thinking for the first time..for any being at the beginning of their time knows very well their beginning
9 From violent molten magma erupting, days and nights are uneven..erratic..varying in discord with the mirages of distant stars. From the infernal bowels of Earth, mountains spew black fiery clouds to divide many times the forming waters. Here, the elements of creation meet openly. They meet crimson tides, purple skies..the earthen floor, its amorphous mass of sulfuric yellow and grey and smoldering black caverns. Waters occasionally form from the dense dust and rapidly cool the sullen skies to bring upon the dark disarrayed surface, fierce rain beating down. The Earth cools, and disorderly dust and indifferent voids atone with sultry spirits over land and sea. The waters violently surge and rise to thin ethers, rising to the primal dint of the sun, to the primeval mind of empty space, for the laws that govern great starry systems govern also the relations between the smallest bits of matter
In the beginning, from the darkness of the waters' deep, primeval consciousness of the spirits' continuum convolutes...becoming elementals, involuted systems of matter..becoming complex convolutions of itself, evolving into ever'more complexities within an un'interrupted environment. It takes from the air, the spirits over land and sea, from the waters only what it needs, to exist..to resist, even if for only a moment longer, the dint of any intent or chance event that would quench its inner dim light. And the watery deeps of murky rivers over steaming land flow rapidly into the seas, into the skies, like some boundless need striving to surpass the bounds of its time, within every bit of substance the first convolution of light is..the seed, the Will to continue to be..not by mission, design, or purpose, but because it can be only what it is, knowing no other thing. And from this Will, many systems shall destroy other systems of lesser Will. We sense the boldness of primitive fire, its compulsion to absorb every motion, every notion. We sense the notes of many melodies. We feel the chants of primordial beginnings
10 Great spirits moved as massive unyielding storms. They were readily fed by soaring eruptions of molten magma from the Earth's deep. Great winds of alien gas from smoldering rocks and lakes of fire move across land carrying turbulence and debris. The Earth was aglow by the flow of the molten liquors of its young heart. Through many eons did the waters gather from gentle vapors upon the winds, rapidly arising, swiftly moving, readily giving and taking with its supple nature. From the giant mountains towering high in the dark murky heavens, thick molten rock oozing, foaming, inferno towers alight the black heavens with streaming scarlet red..yet, as hot and eternal as this radiant Earth appeared, giant clouds burst into thick rain and quench the dark moodiness of black barren valleys
From ancient fires did the waters gather into seas and vast oceans until basins and mountain peaks were subdued by a great body of water, of roving swells and dense whiteness, of foggy mist settling upon waters deep, upon surfaces shallow. Wandering howling gales move great bodies of water, and fierce waters suddenly surge for the sky, until they become momentarily suspended as giant mountains..and crashing down, they would set into motion deep valleys upon the surfaces of waters deep..for as the waters were released by fire, they are free, ascending currents over sea, intimately bound to prevailing winds, the waters are a silky essence, a supple awareness
With seas calm, spirits gently flow wandering through great spanses of time..shifting, spreading, converging..shearing, convecting, spinning..traveling easily far and wide as cool misty winds across vast plains of water. Clear waters suspended high amid the thin ethers collect into great bodies of white mists. From horizon to horizon they settle upon the seas and muffle faraway erupting mountains. Pillars of fire feed the sea from rivers of hot liquid magma..and a deep stillness settles upon the oceans. It was here, where molten fire and quenching waters meet, where, out from the dark mud, tiny oval bodies, countless numbers of them form and spread throughout the seas to produce the first embodiments of peace, a primordial body of many sizes and shapes. From the dust, from the fire in union with a murky sea, throughout eons of crimson sunsets and radiant penetrating dawns, countless primordial bodies form. We feel for brief moments its inner domain, feeling these simple havens, the need to be this quiet reprieve, a temporary rest for a restless quest of the stars..to be this peace made greater by fiery upheavals of a violent world, where, in beginning, there are no bounds of time...in the beginning of life, there are no bounds
11 Dark silence..sweet emptiness, we are drawn, gently, feeling the experience, the life, its lure..the substance..the shadow..a bit of light within an environ evermore un'interrupted. So well accommodated, we stay and dwell according to our abilities. More time, greater complexities, greater abilities of what we can be, as deep as this silent sea, as long as starry radiance gives, upon the surface of a young Earth, the Will 'to be' lives within a delicate body, a fragile host so readily changing from violent transgressions against this small but affable temple of peace. Simple bodies, sweet dreams adrift in abundance, for even the most radical variant may become the only parent, tomorrow. So many primordial bodies there are!...but only when the total of what I am feels greater than the sum of my parts do I feel alive! That whole of being, that gentle completeness from which a larger freer world is known, where I feel the fullness, a need for realness, that affinity for the radiance..that hunger 'to be'..as I sense a world larger than I, there is cause to linger, if only to experience one feeling, because I am greater! than the sum of my parts. I live and readily divide to sharpen perception, and pause from sensation, however meager the feeling may be. Dying, and momentarily breathless for a brief eternity, re'emerging as two if necessary, feeling the greater whole beyond the parts we are. And deep within, is the heart, the secret memory by which a primal cell becomes my cell, my body, in which the sum of its parts is less than the feeling of gentle peace within its confines
Countless times, over and over again, dividing into myself again, holding on and transcending the limits of growth, am I predisposed..for within me is a deep need to linger a bit longer in this vast sea..to feel a bit more, the sensation..if to be no more than an asylum of peace within this fragile haven of instinct and space, where all manners of light spontaneously change within their immediate happenings. There is no time for contemplations..only the urgency of compulsion, the apprehension of compelling need..for in the sea, upon the sea, in the midst of the wind, upon the shoals, a simple dream'state roots into the sun, into the wind, within vast currents of swelling seas they begin. The radiant green upon the tides are simple dream'states wandering, drifting into every crevice, every crag, every rift in every rock..and inevitably, in a violent demanding world, one dimension of creation or another, one entity or another consumes another in their own way because there is no distinction of who I am within, with everything else. All is darkly one
As predator or prey, of taking and giving, any of life is so predisposed, for each is but a simple dimension of Will, flowing, merging into a greater whole.. separating, streaming to wherever..becoming whatever to be favorably or un'favorably selected by the whole. In primeval beginnings, it is the delicate body feeling the most subtle that is so often taken first within a darkly compulsive 'taking and giving' world
12 Within the vast emptiness, light convolutes. Light dims into attitudes of substance, where past and future vanish, where secrets of life and death are sealed within embodiments of free will. We are the eternal present, the isolated'now aging the body so rapidly that as products of boundless evolutions, we are born in timeless space to live, even if only to be minute sensations of small and limited worlds
Of a tiny limited world, we are in the midst of a great void through which vast differences of substance meet..yet, made predominately of void also, I am moved, and I move, feeling the existence. I am touched only by that which was, in the next instant, forgotten. Only dimly, within this tiny haven may we feel the living..but enough to wander ever aimlessly..touching and being touched, we are under the spell, sensations of ourselves. We change deeply within. We divide many times within and grow in complexity..feeling more and more within this eternal now
All that once was, was adequate as memory serves, and all that will be, will be from the dint of Will as probabilities serve..given this eternal now and its derivative, the 'eternal return,' even the greatest of fantasy in memory certainly once was in every detail, and will be again in every variation thereof, together with the weakest of the most unlikely probabilities, has been realized before, and will be, once again
To feel this now, does the dark of 'giving and taking' select only those who see more, feel more, or move more?..selecting those who are stronger, those who strive to understand evermore?..for only from the living is there the now. Only in this now has all ever lived, and so it always has been, that all living was given only by all once lived, and so it shall always be, that while all to live will be given by all living now, all to live, if nothing else, shall inevitably spring from light convoluting in an un'interrupted environment into matter self aware
13 Ages ago, the moon settled from a molten glow. Rounded and cooling to the darkness of its new face, it was set in motion earthbound, adjusted at a uniform pace. As moon'phases pass, the great seas are compelled to follow, and a rhythm is set, and the waters rise slowly upon the land and retreat, and the seas are swayed, and they are moved by the chant of full and dark moons
Down deep in the vast sea, intense competition overwhelms meager worlds of perception, and the strong have a voracious appetite for anything that moves. Violent storms of wind stir the surface of a vast sea, from which great mountains with foamy crests suddenly rise to a peak and separate..rolling and splattering upon the heavy surface of the ocean deep, ending thickly upon land so steep. The radiant sun beats down upon barren ground, and heat swells dust'ridden space. From the dust, waters collect into massive iridescent mists. Wind'strewn rains assault the sides of rocky mountain cliffs. Upon barren plains, the rains collect into raging rivers racing to the seas..through rugged jagged encindered terrain, through darkened murky days and pitch black nights..beneath thundering light arcing the skies and striking the convulsing shifting Earth. Wind'driven dust, crude and coarse, rises high, riding upon great bodies of wandering spirits, smoothing and polishing the sides of massive monoliths, and rocky hills, and jagged jutting mountain cliffs
14 Bits of earth travel within currents of swelling rivers to a wide open sea. Effortlessly and swiftly are they carried. Abundant silt makes gentle the ocean floors, and white sand and windblown barren land by the seas are sparsely inhabited by primordial green, and through translucent windows in a dark murky sky, red sunsets before the night make hot magma flowing, radiant red. Driven upon the shoals, we sense giant flashes of light across the sky, and feeling thunder distantly, softly, the quiet hiss of molten fire enters the deep roar of the sea. We feel intimately, the gentle rhythm of swells heavily rising and dropping and splattering upon rocky shores. A great sea moves subtlely..swaying, shifting..rising, falling...the Earth turns, and the waters reach for a captivated moon as ocean currents move freely upon still waters. And phases of moonglow make another day between twilight and dawn, for the sea, the universe of primal beginnings, serves also as the blood of the living. Striving for feelings more, deep within the waters, or upon some quiet shore, we feel a gentle world against which, motion we make. Swiftly moving, a'wandering, gliding..rapidly submerging with the speed of our Will, we feel the waters giveaway yielding to the passage of my body..I rise swiftly through the gentle resistance of this silky essence, for what I deeply breathe fills my veins..rising faster to the borders of my world, I break into the delicate ethers of the heavens..and freed, I am suspended, feeling free..in the midst of all and everything, feeling free in motion
Ahead are sullen waters, and the sky looms over the horizon, dark and murky. Again, the Earth shakes, and the waters tremble until they surge upon a shore..rising high as a giant mountain, it suddenly disappears and vanishes beyond. We move swiftly, preserving our self within, carefully avoiding those who would consume us for their own sustenance. The darkened skies approach, and stormy waters begin to foam and swirl, we submerge deeper, we breathe the waters through which we move. Throughout within, is the essence of sea. Through us, the waters pass. Of us, the waters become the most of what we feel. Through a great sea we pass..swiftly, easily, smoothly. And wherever the waters ascend from the sea, this that we must breath, travels to places we will never know
15 Dark rubbles lay quietly as memory of a violent past, when the stone, die'd and cast from mountain's foundry, was poured through eons unending. The sea is deep within every cell. We feel the waters. We breathe the delicate ethers. We are moved and swayed by rhythms of moon. Upon gentle Earth, life's heart beats with each generation. Throughout countless eons, the Earth darkens, and moistens, and enriches with each day of growth and decay, for even our end is the means for new beginnings
The warm radiance of a starry body faithfully gives, from dark to light..light to dark. Life to sleep..life awake..sleeping lightly..darkly living, all light readily convoluting. And once inbeing, there is a new light!..a need to see more anew, to touch more, to more wholly feel!..until, with complex needs, we become obsessed to possess our convoluted light, compelled to struggle with all its might to see, for wherever there is light, there is the definition of space. Within every bit of substance, there is light and space. Within every place of creation, there is convoluting light plunging ever deeper into the darkness in search of itself. Without light, there is no substance, no existence, no meaning, no distance..no presence of I, nor sensation. In the darkness we linger in the shadow of a great rock, locked together under the canopy of a tree, to live longer, even if only to sustain one sensation. Our greatest sensitivity, we would offer to be ready for the inevitable passing of worlds
We feel the presence and absence of spirits around us. The stillness is stuffy and torrid. The sun burns. Putrid vapors from thick bogs and pungent swamp smogs rise with scalding ethers from the bowels of Earth. We seek the comfort and stillness of quiet caves, for winds from north and south will approach and spread cold upon a dark floor
Our quaking bones and quivering veins, the blood thickens. To avoid the pain of cold we sleep in fire'lit caves. Through piercing winds fiercely howling, we sleep..only to suddenly awake to a slight quake of a dry twig, a falling stone, or splintering bone. We are deep in our cave..and our deep, yet to be born, stirs in dark sleep
16 The Earth is of land and sea..each whole and complete from struggles to be, in every action, overt or covert..forever wanting to be, through eons of generations, every desire, every passion seeks every crag and crevice of land, every depth of sea, every spirit of heaven, every niche of haven. Indomitable spirit!...evermore abundant and hungry, enchanted by fragrance unseen, or charged by the slightest movement upon the floor, or enlightened and taken high above upon unseen ethers there...this haven we are within, seems peaceful and fair
And life abounds within the sea, by the seas..upon hills, within lush green valleys..upon currents, spirits over the land, upon the land everywhere, we feel this..enriched by so much that has lived. Throughout the land, we feel its fragrance. Its softness gives way as we rise high toward the sky, rising'up, seeing afar, I sense a startling moment, a deep shadow passing, and for a brief eternity, feel faintly the presence of me..feeling deeply, far off, the billowy whiteness in the sky, I gaze long, and feel the birds fly, feeling faintly the presence of me, moving slowly across distant vision..rapidly changing over a dark horizon
17 Throughout the universes beyond all universes, there is mind co'mingling with matter. There is mind in matter wherever there is symmetry, wherever emptiness was created. And the germinations of life..how can they possibly be?..but from passion stretching beyond many lifetimes of starry bodies. And as great as their thought may be, so must be their feeling be..as deep and profound as their knowledge is far and clear, for their need of life permeates all matter and emerges as phases of darkness and light with its own need to be purely, a subject of circumstance..a creature knowing, even for only a brief moment, knowing this now with no past nor future, gaining as any of life, for better or worse, from the bles'sed sensual..the eternal sensuous
And supernatural masters of cognitive evolutions must also rest as any of life..for, in as much and as far as they may see, they too, like any being, have their path of darkness within this vast cosmos. They too must sleep..and in that sleep...the flurry of butterflies and wandering critters of all kinds..the wait of a spider, the anticipation of its web is given...the hawk hovering over a field, the field mouse digging for its home..the fish seeking smaller fish, the lark ascending high..the gater dozing down'under..the arbor sleeping under a blanket of darkness...sleep within deep sleep, the unselfconscious myriad of all, is but a kind of sleep..a sweet darkness, a reprieve far away from the event horizons of the universe..their space, their time
18 And so it inevitably comes to be, that we emerge and live within the sleep of consciousness deep..within the multitudes of all manners of life..through the spirit of their living encounters..the mighty conquers the weak, the caterpillar deceives appearing as a snake, or the bold spirit of a tiny creature attacks with imposing jaws...its own destiny, it is determined to make. The little dawn horse gains speed through generations, growing mighty with great speed to match its own need to live. In the deep of all substance is 'all can only be, to be for existence sake,' and for the sake of a self'aware eternity, change we seek, seeking any diversion for a brief eternity from the eternities we are...I drift smoothly through space'time, upon this earthen body, in the midst of a vast sea..to have a clear destiny, having been clearly created..having been born into a body that will certainly wither in time..having been born of spirit in that time..and in time, to inevitably know the different courses that body and spirit take, a'wandering and flowing back to the great sea from which they came. Such vastness is this sea, embracing countless eternities of space and substance. Such vastness is there to serve but brief fleeting moments of life. We are the greater space. We are the unseen ethers we breathe. We are the vapors emerging from wide'open seas. Of all the living, we are..each giving what the other needs. Each living freely, for we are profoundly blessed with darkness, and bounded by what we see..bounded by what we think we see and know, most certainly bound by what we feel. And well within the bounds of habit, narrow limits of memory serve. So timeless is any beginning that perception is quick and intense, and inclined to enlarge what is there..where impression is affecting and readily effecting ardent defense or impassioned attack, where everything seems to be happening at once..for as the very young perceive, from anywhere may another creature emerge..fast or slow..around dark corners, within some shadow..life can pass so easily, like a fleeting dream
19 To our distant beginning within the hinterspace of mind, we are momentarily drawn...but a body does not move unless there is separation of substance, unless there is another body, unless the body has divided to crack the stillness...eternity was forsaken, eternal peace..all but forgotten! We have traveled far it seems, through great currents of space. Through countless bodies in motion, I hear faint melodies of a grand symphony as discord spawns the instar and nurtures it until it becomes pleasing and blending, or independent and inciting. And vast numbers of starry bodies seem unchanging! Am I but a fleeting dream of its soul? so intimately bound and subtlely changing, so darkly restricted, so deeply a part of all..that the sweet earth rises up within me, the winds blow gently through me, and for a moment, I feel the ends of my fingers, the palm of my hand...I feel the rhythm of my walk, the sweet nectar from the colors of life'giving fruit. I am within this body I feel, a sense of possession alone I feel, with every turn in direction, with every decision of action, I spontaneously move, fast or slow, or remain in perfect stillness..pause for a sweet fragrance, the spell of a vision, all wondrous spirits in creation..to be simply within this now!...satisfied to be, just substance of dreams
20 In timelessness, supple waters wander throughout grassy plains and seep deep into the life there. Life is simple in this Eden..and all is set in motion by the Earth spinning, turning the dark to light, the light to dark..the life to death, death to rebirth. Throughout this Eden, days are even, past days are forgotten, sustenance is plenty, the winds are warm and heavy. We move. With each step, the rich earth pushes back. We move slowly through the brightness of a midday sun. Deep within sleep, sweet warm winds are but a soft blanket..and upon the winds, floral seeds are carried far. From its diaspora does life so readily change, do some that were large become small, do others that were very small once again become greater..radically changing if need be, flowing, conforming..dissolving, forming, darkly compelled, the predator adapts to catch the prey. A variant prey survives. And so it is!..that all of life is sustenance to one form of life or another, arising from dark Earth, from the waters and air, from the radiance above...all the stars there
21 Within dark cool shade, stirring from sleep, I awake in stillness and sense a commotion in an arbor as two creatures in the air fight for their bounds of space. I feel deep crevices in the palms of my hands, I look at them, feeling I'am. I extend my fingers, slowly, out and back again. I watch my fist clench and tighten. I hear the delicate trickle of fresh waters and feel impassioned by the intense fragrance of fruit blossoms. With the other foot upon the ground, I slowly rise upon my legs feeling my strength swell, a feeling of freedom swells, and my arm in motion stretches to grip an arbor arm. As my weight bends its grain, fruit falls to the ground. I reach down..grasp the soft sweetness, and know..it was surely meant to be eaten
Beasts and darkness everywhere. Alien darkness creeps within the shadows. Anguish penetrates stone. Night suddenly enters our hearts..fearing, near panic, our anger climbs the highest peaks and fills the ethers there. Great screaming winds are given to penetrate the deep of a hostile alien..amid the softness of nature's gentle giving and violent taking, we are so born
The alien waits within the darkness we live, dreaming moonbeams..to be instantly awakened, anytime, anyplace, jolted suddenly from elsewhere into 'now and here.' Within me, within yesterday am I, moving, roaming, suddenly appearing, a thousand'eyes attack, through the darkness, over rushing waters..from a ridge above, from high in a tree, from the deep of a familiar shadow..fiery beasts burst upon us from nowhere. From my deep I echoed, swollen anger and molten fire as one! And together we roared! We lashed! We thrashed and gnashed and felt indelibly, the heart of this fanged beast who would readily take our body for sustenance..contemplating well its spirit, before piercing it with its own finely honed tips of bone
And now, in this morn, wrapped gently in simple quiet, restful breeze..warm sun falls softly upon innocence. They sparkle in their play like dancing light upon unfolding leaves. I am warm and at peace with all. My deep is quiet..my heart, a steady rhythm by a still'quiet pond where the grubs lay. Upon this morning warm, a sweet mist penetrates the silence. Subtle pleasures course throughout me. With spirits enpassing, the bright misty morn makes the shallow pond gentle and still. I felt the pond, its stillness and its shoals beyond, when suddenly, peace abruptly broke. The stillness in me felt this moment darken, for something is upon me, within me..something heavy is impending
At the water's edge, I feel a stone'hard stillness, a quiet much deeper than what is around me. An unfamiliar stillness I feel. A strange silence penetrates. Something alien, something unfamiliar seeps into me. Deep silence, a deep aching, alone, heavy solitude, I suddenly feel. And I turned back to perceive what I saw moments ago..an image, silent and still. A strange darkness was there upon the mirrored surface of the still'water pond. An image there penetrates my eyes. An emptiness I feel, and having fallen by the dint of this immutable angst, the dark reflection continues to be given, from the water's own peace of mind, giving me to me!..this strangeness of I, this body, my life, I, doubled in mind. Quickly, I touch the water's edge, and my image vanishes, and quickly I move to another place to see. Touching the darkened image to feel, substance upon water's surface I see. Again, I disappear! Touching the waters and moving again, I seek the light upon the quiet pond. Again I look...my darken image is sharp and clear, and there, made of light am I, untouchable and isolated..made of elusive fragile substance, so easily distorted by the slightest touch. Suddenly, within again..a flashing! I feel my eyes..dazed and confused, I touch the flesh of my body. I am assured. I touch the water. I flutter. In spasms of despair, the light divides me, restlessness seems unending, this emptiness within, brings light to fall upon old dark memories. Remembering the deep stillness, the heavy air..the thousand'eyes flash amid wavering cries..terror and jagged fear, my deep within, is moving. Being moved, sweaty heat is upon me in the midst of this alien quiet..for I see so clearly, simple innocence..and the beasts of darkness fade, when we became as one and larger than they. The still walls of rock impart a hollow voice penetrating throughout within, throughout the vast emptiness there. Only there, does the past have light. Only from there! can future be enlightened
Knowing this light within, I feel the pulse of heart, I feel this now intensely! I remember deeply, I feel deeply! knowing the fragile image of I. Feeling estranged, a vast emptiness...this freedom, a word, I..my body, my life! I reachout to the past. Images from there quickly emerge and pass through what I am, and into future, and I remember the evening before...fragile night, heaven's light when I reached'out to the images of a memory so clear..reaching out to touch the blinking twinkling radiance amid the cool night air..the spirits of the Earth I feel. Are these specks of light also the images of the past? Are they the memory? of this earthen body
Quiet meadow..water's stillness at my feet, in the light filling my mind, all and everything, all is both 'one and many,' as I am now, this word 'I' and all else, this 'I am that I am.' Of the waters in this pond moving throughout me...I am that I am!..life begetting life with the light of past, present, and beyond..from the word, I'am, upon the surface of this still'water pond, deep darkness forever gone
Cantos Two Cantos Three Cantos Four