Phoenix
by Dale J. Sprague
Op. 1 The Rose
Cantos One Cantos Three Cantos Four
Cantos Two
1 As the stars are, I feel pressed until no more can be felt, until that part of what I once was changes from dark to bright, like essence of sun becoming conscious and light traveling throughout creation. As the blinking brightness of the stars are, my images are those of the past. But as a creature, I am delivered from past and future, and now enveloped by the darkness upon me, I am silent in a great firmament, absorbing brightly like some dust'ridden nebula, deep in space, where light enters and stays until I too, rebel from my own weight
As the deserts are, I feel a conspicuous lack of life, particularly at night when I am suddenly uplifted, in union with my dark starry companion. And closer, overhead, are the dark moods of the waters passing through yellow silver hues of moon
And the moon enlightens the darkness..bluing silver linings of dim vision that forever seem to be..for the bottoms of feelings, for depressions of mood laying me down upon the ground
At peace perhaps, I would feel seeking without, whatever should emerge within...seeking the boundaries there, dwelling upon some desert's edge. When the moon is shining full, dark clouds fall and become a small running brook upon a desert within me. This bit of waterway conforms to every bit of dusty ground until it swells as a small pool. Aside this pool, I feel murky remnants of an old dream from an ancient future. I feel the waters within...they are cool, fresh, and clear. I feel them passing through...as without, so within..as within, so without, the darkness of space becomes the brilliance of a star..murky clouds become waters flowing, suspending and refreshing all life growing
And the dust in me is drawn'up into the life of me, and as I was before within a luminous womb, the true end is...initiatives of love within, changelings seeking themselves without
Living, I cannot otherwise but be, the living darkness that is in the beginning, temporary...the living light that in the end, is limited. Mesmerized, befooled, subdued..salvaged and delivered from too much darkness or too much light, I live with zero'infinities of mind. Indeterminacies of worlds and virtual worlds, I live
2 In haven, there is the flora. Of the flora, there are the arbors, and whether aloft or near the earthen floor, they are the need to hold together..the Earth and its starry body
Upon fertile ground, an arbor's seed swells, and its body grows, rooting equally into darkness and light. The arbors, like all that lives, are majestic no matter how small, no matter how unseen, because they are many histories, many evolutions in one. They are each, the very end of so much that has lived. From but a single need, this body grows as evolution proceeds...from the many to one, from one to many...all as one
From its many arms reaching to an ever'radiant star, does its fruit readily ripen. Long ago did its plain leaves turn to folds of color, to dark vivid splendors of clustered pedals, to the sweet fragrance today of its immortal surrenders. And such a complete and dedicated surrender a tree blossom is. To liken it, one must bear and offer enchanting fragrance, haunting color, the most of one's sensitivity to an alien spirit, for new life, the regeneration of it
And within a world as dark as it is light, I may reach deep down into my darkness, reaching out into my conscious bright, and perhaps become a bit more like the arbor, knowing the blessings of a world much larger
3 The time'present only is here amid unseen radiance, amid a radiant peace..a glowing silence penetrating every bit of substance, penetrating deeply my own being
Wholly absorbed am I by the misty splendors of a hidden lake. This place labors through enchantments of many delicate sounds, and of many subtle fragrances it is. The misty waters high above have blended intimately with the sweet Earth below
Occasionally, there are whiffs of wind, little spirits that play with only a single leaf of a tree. Stately flora in the gold of the sun, dream'states they are in the open and bright, arising from dark shadows of forever'green arbors, rising to meet the tides of light
With spirit supine, I ascend. I travel to nowhere in time. I am but a passenger in conscious slumber upon this Earth, traveling through a vast mind. Here, in this place, one may wonder naught or ponder absently, as one basks and exists only as they are. And with an occasional busy buzzing ensearching the sweetness of some passion nectar, gentle warmths of this little haven readily penetrate and pervade throughout me. Such warmth and peace we can be, surely must be the revelation of this bit of heaven
And within this haven, am I endowed with bles'sed limits and unknowing, am I given to here and now. Within eternity or time beyond, within the dimensions of future or past, this now moves relatively slow as unchanging one may be, or fast as forever changed one may become
For freedom to be, I would feel the heavy absence of now, I would feel this existence of me..but life, only weakly
Far from this now, for lack of life and life to keep, my soul mourns, my soul weeps..for life remakes the soul of my deep
And inevitably for its return, I awake and answer this now calling, leaving past and future dreams for another time. And I return, my senses return for life to live, for this now living, and for soul...no more weeping
4 The beginnings of Earth were the bare beginnings of cognition. Primitive light co'mingled with aimless feelings. In the great voids that preceded me, awareness was primeval, unfocused, and the simple consciousness of a cell had only occasional rest as upheavals of matter express deep feelings of fire and chaotic thought. No laws except those of the distant light of time existed within the turmoils of early Earth. Gradually yielding, the heaviness of youthful dispositions settles into meditation around a young star. As the heart of my foundation settles, peace prevails, and stillness seeps into the waters, for the waters to take form. And greater beginnings of cognition emerge as primitive consciousness evolves upon and through itself. Only from consciousness can consciousness spring incarnate with a life of its own
A vast system is alive! this universe is alive! And where time is not, I know that I occupy but small space, a brief passing, a blink of an eye, however much occupied I would be with query in eternity
Yet, as any of life, I am caught up by distracting currents, by unsettling doldrums. I have become openly, the need to feel the stars and know their space..and with but one feeling, one thought, I give this universe a time and place
In my time and space, I can be no more than the weight of my dreams drifting over the foundation under my feet. And my Earth, though passive to me, knows all the stars!..as all of substance is one constructing, deconstructing..ever evolving, de'evolving body
As this Earth slowly turns and journeys around a radiant star, the light and dark of me changes, and I rest within the seasons of time, as many..many thousands living in so many different ways occupy my extremes
Into the depths of frozen ground and freezing wind over which starry bodies circle, my spirit wanders within a stillness of mind where the waters of me transform into delicate crystalline asters, growing in all directions
In me is a multitude of inborn histories living this day..being, one unaware of the other
Spirit rises from the surface of seas, ascending high, a convenient shield for the earthen floor. And because I am free to wander wherever, stormy moods brood into vast circular continuums, having in its center..peace, traveling upon a path within violent upheavals of indecision
Of all the flora I am, bridging the spanse between Earth and sun. Of all the creatures am I, living some paradox of mind, in time or not..one for one's self or not. I am the living, the vast myriad of newborn reborn sudden dark encounters. As the voices of many dreams, I am self possessed within tiny dark worlds..seeing, feeling only this now
I feel each moment like the weight of a golden crown. And within one creature, I bask drinking heavy heat, feeling the spirit of me course through my veins. And quickly into darkness do I move, being of those who run from light...into the cool soil I burrow, upon a safe branch I cling, within narrow crevices I hide, amid the flocks I sing
As I be so many desires within, I seek their end, outside. Of the Earth, wind, and sun, of self'conscious creatures so painfully begun..even the extremes of my nature must conform to this Earth's meditation
I be the memories of brilliant wonders, knowing spirit, fragrance, and colors. And living with only a bare memory of the moment before, my greater whole lives indentured by constant distraction...a prey becoming a hunter, or a hunter hunted by success
All of this is of me, day and night silently. As such motion of light and dark was my birth, it is now the rhythm, my breathing
As the Earth turns, from thick snowdrift calm to mornings warm, I feel the floras aroused from a long sleep. Great creatures rise to radiant days from nurturing nights
And as the Earth completely turns, and day becomes equal to night, the flora shed their blossoms..by their leaves abundantly falling they weep, not for transcendence of new life or transduction of new seed, but for the solitudes of the dark cold nights of winter's deep
And when the time of day is shortest and nights are starless, in this great darkness, within its song of sleep, life's seeds are protected. And I rest from the pain, and the many adventures of change. The many of I become the many new changes that remain from that time, of misty morns, of warm shade and bright days, and fragrant blossoms, and the many fruits, and the brilliant spanse above, from which all came to give birth to love
5 Before us is a frozen winterland. Here, time has built an enormous mass, white and glistening. Many eons passed with dust'darkened skies, and with the sun so dimmed, the Earth became very cold, and great mountains and vast plains of ice grew, overrunning life both young and old
The winds moved swiftly and violently, and frozen peaks became large and jagged as though reaching upward to defy the radiant gold there. Across the masses of ice where life once flourished, frozen valleys and great icy rifts stretched to the otherside of the horizon, and for many eons did the murky, misted sleet speak from rigid crevices of frozen mountain peaks
But as this Earth had its way, fine bits of dust did fall, and the great continents of ice, as rapidly as they grew tall, now melt away. Lofty icy mesas crack and crumble. Giant white masses slowly withdraw its thick protruding fingers, rounding and smoothing great basin valleys. Massive boulders, ground and polished, lay dark beneath the open skies. And out from its icy tomb the Earth appears, and life, long since past and fast asleep, awakens to reveal its dreams
A flower bursts open and radiates. Glacial water floods the plateaus and spills over, a'falling, coursing, and a'cutting deep valleys, and raging rivers fill great basins on their way to a deepening sea. Ebbing streams become ponds, gathering and regathering, and barren masses of ice receding, leave last a small lake, a vestige of a violent frozen past
Flora and creatures of all kinds appear. We feel great spirits arouse the surface of a lake, and we feel heavy time from endless changing..formation and re'formation of imposing Wills to be, throughout the seasons
Our own mood is at rest while we sense the delicate balances of creatures and plants growing and thriving. The lake thickens, mellow in spirit, purpose fulfilled, the years of its life are nearly spent
Its surface breaks into shallow pools, over which a new entity grows in complexity. And of this entity, all life struggles. All so readily take their chances..each striving to live for themselves, for their own kind, for the drama of vanities is so well staged
Within this single space, while we stay, a single seed has fostered many small worlds as creatures' blending passions become a single need of a great complex entity..to simply be, in this moment, within a single breath of this season's day
When daytime opens wide, we feel golden beams penetrate a cool misty dawn. We see within this darken time forcasten, beads of mist appear upon lilies, and we see across shallow pools with new light that only moments before was dark
The moor, the heart of this entity, is thickened with sparkling dew upon green'deepened grass sheltering an occasional ripple across a pond..where lilies provide a foundation for little creatures that lap the moisture of leaves near shallow pools..lucid pools that readily give the sky back to itself, day and night
Old life is dormant as a multitude of spirits bear many winged creatures. And high above, large arbors spread their knowledge upon the Earth, and they stand to the spirit over land and sea. Holding the sublimations of the sea, only the peaceful can enter, only harmony can be
Above, thick'misted waters darken for a moment the peace of this moor. Showers burst from the sky, and the light turns bright. And when we look afar, we see the heaven'bowe display the inner nature of a radiant star
Radiant beams are the source of feelings deep within this entity. Abundant feelings! Life a'plenty! Warm feelings rise to the sky from the moor, and as the radiance above begins to set, the spirits of this entity, in aimless harmony, blend...their voices in rhythm with laws that seem to know all but time
They mellow quiet as starry night covers the tips of arbors, as the darkside awakens warm with the balm of sleep. And at the end of our stay, we sense that one day has given a small measure of sustenance to some, an end to some, and a beginning to others. And we see the sky darken deep upon this dream come true..in the face of small pools that mirror the sparkling night, and slowly turn its memory..far, far back in time to the cold bleak origin of its beginning
6 Upon Earth slowly turning, the waters are a vast entity, and from deep caverns and valleys to the plains and hills and mountains ascending high, to the greater reaches of sky, the waters flow, dissolving and wearing away by giving way to the ways of the land
I embrace every mountain, probe every cavern, cover great canyons. I am moved gently by the moon. I feel the greatness of Earth, the vastness upon the surface of the sea that is me. The radiant sun transforms me in an instant. And free above mountains, I seek their peaks where I remain in contemplation of this haven
It is my nature to separate easily, and readily return as I was before, as I rise, regathering in the skies..rising high to the stars, only loyal blue passes through me
Of creation, I am a simple entity. Of the living, a simple medium. From within my silver linings, I am a bit of sea surrounded by solitudes of space, and the heart of Earth pulls me, and I begin my long journey back
As a small pool of a moor, as the deep of a lake, the ripple of a pond, or even as a simple bead upon a blade of grass, I am taken up by all the living. By all creatures and floras am I taken, for my wandering changing essence am I taken..yet inevitably, away from my many reprieves, my spirit streaming in its final sinuous journey shall meet the shoals, the quiet depths, the deep blue plains of my beginning
And upon each return to my beginning, my sea speaks to me, "In the heavens, great laws of creation exist simply and boldly. Perpetual motions of matter and perfect ebbs of space maneuver and conduct their dialogues within the great expanse of everything everywhere." Yet, however great and bold such eternal dialogues between light and dark are, they can suddenly vanish. From a history of such conversations, there is no final victory for any part of creation, nor ultimate victor of light even if timeless..nor sovereign mind, even if endless. There is only the life, eternities beginning and ending, so melodies of thought may be completed by time
7 Upon this Earth, far to the temperate north, within a great valley of many arbors, floras, and creatures, all surrounded by high mountains east and west, I witness an inner dialogue that parts time, dividing it into separate ways as time streams through the aspirations and instincts of creatures as easily and free flowing as any river could be
Deep within me, there is a yearning to be of this haven, and I often travel to the highland rivers. There..up high, are wind'whispers through evergreen, and the distant hollow roar of the river between them. In the morning, the mountains shade trickling water at my feet, and the soft damp fragrance of Earth I feel. Crisp and clear spirits are around me..quiet breezes through leaves of river trees sway me, the sparkling mystique of rippling river pools beckons me..to be within this..to be here now, to just simply be
Some wonder why I travel so deep into the darkness of their mind, and enjoy the solitude there. Few know though, that I experience not solitude, but the company of a great many so unconsciously alive, like the river in its special sway, in constant motion and akin to the wind. Everything that lives is part wind and part water. Everything here is unawares of itself and intensely alive. All is decisive in fault and action. All else, simply becomes detritus
I come here to find company, to relate to this great entity made of flora and creatures. I have learned that paths of destiny are marked by aspirations, and aspirations usually become one's fate when they arise from peace of mind, particularly the peace of mind, I seek here
I seek life everywhere, to communicate with the clear skies above or down'under amid the turbulence of the deep streaming spirit before me, now flowing through me. Far, far away from the wilderness of mind to the civilization of forest do I find peace..do I rest and simply exist, do I stay and forever lay upon sweet melody carried by gentle winds. And here, I would willingly wait to settle into conscious sleep, feeling my whole within this entity of all, feeling though, as an alien
From the wilderness of mind did I just emerge, and upon this occasion, I seek...I hope...if I only could, become a citizen of this civilization, become a dweller in this wood
Here, within this haven, I feel all so clear in their need. I feel their constant need because every bit of this entity penetrates me. I hear the gentle rippling currents, I feel embraced by the silence of trees..lofty, open, and friendly
Sweet gentle wind!..moving lightly and swiftly, so easily are you born again within me
And the waters from the heavens, from the mountains, from every trickling passage, all move together, down..from many into one, do the waters move, moving and quieting the many within me. Here, I will stay, even after I leave, graced by so many quiet sweet sounds, all a'blending and penetrating, and laying me down upon deep carpets of moss
Cantos One Cantos Three Cantos Four