Cantos One
1
Across a wide plain active with great spirits that make a vast sea out of
tall grass, or over the swells of a deep thickened sea, I feel a primordial
need surrounding, penetrating, pervading throughout me. From space, I sense
essence of mind, a need for freedom so great, that what space is not, may
freely express itself, compounding itself in the production of creation. In
creation, I feel substance and sense primordial awareness, wherein emotions of
electromagnetic sensations, are given and taken. Upon the surface of still
waters, I feel an awareness that is essential, seeing the image of stars there,
in reflection from another time, ages ago. From the midday sun, I feel radiant
consciousness penetrate me, and from its body, I sense its grasp, its reach
extending to all of creation, serving as a focus of time. As I penetrate the
boundaries of time, I perceive phases of moon and receive reflections of
prophecy. The Earth, my foundation, encircles the radiant focus of time in a
meditative chant to the destiny of stars. And I sense unbounded within bounded
senses, as it readily extends itself, through all things.
I am that I am in my beginning,
and creation is given. My eyes, my ears, and my other thresholds are gifts
allowing me to personalize creation. And through creation, I move as slow as I
perceive without..as fast as I see within. And from creation, more than the
value of my breath, there are treasures to behold. For less than any breathless
moment, no wonder of beauty could ever be sold. So, predisposed with a bit of
creation and apportioned time of my own, darkness is given equally with light.
But in mind, I comprehend points, lines, planes, and solids in
perfection..making form, conceiving of perfect form, but when I deep search the
physical, I find only approximations, unlight ensearching exactly where minute
divisions of matter end and space begin. I assume then, that the precision of
matter is a matter of mind, a facility exploring its own limits enpursuent of
the final division..where it is ultimately forced to create. How ever are these
quintessent pursuits doomed to failure, I contemplate matter, plunging deep,
dwelling where the innermost bit of me is. To see there, to feel far, wide, and
clear..to breathe deeply this creation, for my deep needs an earthly soul.
Deeper into matter did I journey to find the treasure, some law there, true for
all. And so many times did I approach the smallest bit of me, and as many times
did it elude me. In despair, my vision became darker and darker until so
isolated, my self divided. In that instant, a light arose bright. I learned
that I, within the deepness of matter, cannot perceive and know it, without
changing it, and causing it to become something else. And thus, so it must,
only impressions of past and future can I perceive..for the rest, just be
There is form in thought, and
there is form in matter. There is then, unity..union between thought and
matter. My consciousness sees through life as my eyes see through space. There
is then, an equality between consciousness and light, a fundamental state of
matter. All shapes and forms of matter seem motionless when perceived from
afar..and restless when sensed closeby. Within the change of matter is
generation, transfer, and disintegration...regeneration, transfer, and
integration of time and space between mind and matter. Change is the nature of
time, but the alert, quiet fixicity of the mind, is the vast ocean within which
I sense a unity between my feelings and the omnipresent change around me. My
biomagnetic fields are aware. I am emotionally valenced to the presence of
things. My mind is freed within wide open spaces. Consciousness is soothed by
light. Imbalanced, I feel who I am. In equivalence, I sense why. In search of
why, I am given time for the many needs, the many wants, I be. And when I need
peace, I would want to experience the ultimate manifestation...a paradox, a
dichotomy. Continuous wave and discontinuous quanta am I..dichotomous emotion,
seeking best resolution, of conflicting wants and needs, here and now
2 Within
my space, I am as we. Of the many within, are we. I am as I. Of one aware of
all others within, am I. I, we..are the memories, visions, hopes..the reality
of superficial desires and deep needs. The 'one and many' is the essential
paradigm of matter...the matter I am, we are, every moment, everyday. Of the
awareness that pervades every bit of matter, am I..of every bit of matter
within, I seek to be. The universe now, in its vastness and extremes, is
manifest existence, and being now, this now is upon me. I am all that I can be
now, created by past and future..yet, as past, present, and future senses of
time, I am the passageway between the universe of matter and the matters of
mind. This is a world where universes, light years apart, can relate bridging
unimaginable expanses of space, because barriers of space are of mind, and in
this world, transcendence of mind is transcendence of space. In this place,
every moment brings constant union, dissolution, exchange, and embodiments of
vast systems of histories converged and re'converging within. This is an
obvious system of things where its extremes incarnate within me, and seek
connections between what is in motion, and what is not. In this space, the
essential matter, is contained within each moment, and each moment, is but a
fertilized seed of past and future
3 From
the inside looking out, there must be some unity between what I am, and what I
am in. From behind my eyes, I can see only by reflection of what was around me.
Reality here is like my image in a mirror upon dark waters...fearful at first,
but such images of the past are compelling, and draw me into their watery deep.
I feel pulled from deep within, and as a stranger within a familiar world, I
may arrange images there as I would like to see them..being so lured, as I
were, by the simplicity of my own ideals..but before I become lost in them, I
move away in haste, from this place behind my eyes
When I am at the face of my eyes,
I look around, seeing directly into a timeless now. Colors and fragrances are
bold and intense, and my wits are extended to their end, and knowing that
something is always beyond them, I am constantly on guard in this prickly
eternity, for the unknown's sudden appearance
I have seen the future beyond the
face of my eyes. Staying there is fascinating at first, but at the mercy of my
imagination's whim, reality is dim, vague, and faraway. And what if I should
dwell there?..living indefinitely upon some obscure probability. Like an island
of ice upon a tropical sea, my home would seem to be
What then? What else can I
be?..but of all, of past, present, and future within me. Only with this unity,
can I move back to the face of my eyes amid the many uncertainties of futures
probable, of memories remaining as they were born regardless of form..past,
present, and future, as one. And out, from the inside looking out, I may be
clearly, this uncertanty..I may truly begin
4 Time
and eternity are passing sensations, places of mind where solace wanders around
vague feelings of nostalgia, where clouded familiarities of places, faces, and
eons brood like loveless lovelorn ghosts, all vying for their time under the
sun. Through this brooding, I nevertheless see, feeling non'logical
insight..feeling irrational knowing, experiencing instant insight from apparent
nowhere. I am now, fully attached here beyond my senses. I listen to every
feeling, feeling a great ocean of space and all it contains. How much am I
divided there? How fixed within, can I be, and still breathe freely? This place
where all of what I am, is so easily formed, but impossible to remove. I am a
universe within, looking out into another, a realm seeking rules and freedom
from rules. And so resolved and disposed, I shall grow as the universe grows. I
shall be moved, as this system of a radiant all'giving star moves
5 Within the universe, within me is the minute weight of beliefs
and values determining its destiny within a vast universe. As a minute entity
in search of, even all extremes are internalized and so easily personalized
into some ordered niche of mind. And so readily did my mind work to consume
each feeling, each new experience..yet, being more than magnetic flux and
thermal heat, there are alignments between feelings and ideas. There is
consciousness in blue, red, yellow, and as one, by white does one also see, but
the mind seeking some irreducible essence would suspend in thought, the body
which carries it. The vacuous mind would hold separate, rigid, and fixed, all
that is sensually perceived...that is, until, in the fervor of its endeavor, it
suddenly sees its doppelganger...a simple feeling, or emotion obsessed, also chasing
the shadows of its own existential queries
6 Radiant
beams from the heavens enter boldly any matter in its way. From matter is white
produced. Within matter does white so readily stay. And, as white clings to the
densities of substance, its absence do we perceive. Within substance will white
remain, and from substance, the black we receive. And I stand, casting a shadow
from the sun, and from this, all that is physical is between light and dark,
between the world of black and white is matter, the substance we are! And for
all to be only black and white, the stars, the planets, the elements, would
have to be whisked away. And when I feel winds of uncertainty, and tides of
darkness and chaos, I withdraw and ponder as I stand, and make sure..that the
black and white there, remembers from where it began
7 From
high above, did angry determined words shower down. They were great
giants...violent, awesome, and all knowing. And quickly how broad their smile
would be, how pleasant and loving they would be, if I should say, the same as
they
Where dictums reigned, did words
come to me, representing itself as light. Reaching out with all my strength, I
became fixed by the darkness there. Yet, words that emerge from darkness, in
darkness do they stay. With pure faith and thus blinded, I was told to live.
Thus living, not knowing light nor choice of my own to give. Forbear and
forget! Covet the next moment. Love another only upon condition..that is, the
condition they return the same, without reservation, without hesitation
I lived brightly. I cried
silently. For the night, I waited. The day, I dreaded. Heavily burdened with
words unrooted, I lived some vision I could not see. I lived yearning for eyes
truly of me. Day by day, the nights grew longer. Stronger and stronger my mind
became. There were so many words, unconnected, so many pieces for some game.
With each day, my mind became larger. Exercising freely, games began..and ended
easily. And seeking more..more for new words, I looked far, looking far beyond
defined horizons
Soon thought began to interlock,
and strings of words appeared, and easier and easier did bits of light come
together. Then one day, like no other day, a ray of light..a blinding flash!
Whole masses of words suddenly burst into light, with radiant filaments
networking everything in sight...and I felt for the first time, my own
eyes..eyes truly of me. I see. I see! I can so clearly see within
But more than this. Far more than
the birth of a mind's eye, the ground rose to my feet to become ground again,
the air touched my skin to become air again, and the sun radiated..making shade
aside all things that became things again
8
Magic in the night, and vision by light in day, spirits emerge from their place
of stay..for this day, from this night, within, I begin. I see spirits speak
softly of the innocent while they fight, of all children playing war, of all
life in sight. I hear a spirit in the night, speaking boldly of the glory of a
moon'still lake. I feel another with its own light, slowly ascend into the
darkness above. So much fear would this spirit bear, if only to hear, the lofty
wisdom of the trees there
Evening brings light, a soft
glow, and I even see the wind blowing! swift and silent, haunted whirling.
Alive! Entrancing. Deeply enchanting. Enchanted, I am enveloped by night when
my part of the world is at rest, when we are all at rest from ourselves and
each other
The creatures and spirits of the
night chant and sing stories of the boldness of the day and its faraway places.
They mention that the ways of nature are ceaseless, and paths of life, endless.
Only the night knows, the secret whispers of the bold, boldly told..the
adventures!..the intrigues of ebbing space and conquering time. In the ebb of
twilight, reminiscence begins and ends with itself at dawn, when the spirit of
the night reverses itself, and brings a new day
I feel the night, a silence, an
absence..an alien presence of small, barely audible creatures speaking of many
things...who they are, where they are..what was best, which we now let begin,
while we rest
9 As
light is used to construct past, present, and future, three dimensions of
space, three dimensions of mind are created. And what I conceive is freely
given by mind, of past, present, and future time. Yet, how deeply I see,
recalling from seeing, feeling the experience of seeing comes not, from what
was so freely given, but by something new, something changing. With something
new, there is the irony, or a paradox. And suddenly I laugh or weep, or
wonderment fills me, and more than ever before, I enter a greater world, I
become less asleep. The prospect of enlightenment sets the dimensions of mind
into motion..down intrepid inclines of rugged rock and chasms deep, to see
there, what is hidden..or up daunting inclines of imposing rock to their peaks,
to see from there, through what is broad and open, because what is hidden, and
what is in plain sight, are the progenitors of enlightenment
10 Existence
is made of delicate, yet all'pervading tiny minuscule forces. Conceived in
need, one bit of force attaches to another. Untold numbers of need, give,
share, and wait to be filled..building, growing, becoming sky..touching upon
mountainous forms, great or small, matter's influence is profound, where the
very large beyond comprehension, is at one with the very small beyond reach.
Even the emptiness of space seems a necessary potion, a notion enabling me to
more deeply understand the nature of substance, the substance I am
Inward I move, to perceive this
substance of me. Above and below, aside me, everywhere, I perceive readily,
perceiving all..but the bits of matter I call me. Yet, as I persist, I want to
know within me, even the most transient, while discerning the most salient. How
much I journey to and from the substance of me, is as I need, as necessary. And
no matter how far I journey, matter is delicate, yet formidable..profound in
influence, and so far beyond comprehension, that to return, I need only to
touch it. In touching, feeling deeply this matter, something very deep awakens.
Something very deep, becomes aware
11 Why
does anything have to be? especially as it turns into itself, perceiving out,
and fostering me. Yet, upon waking with a nighted brow, why seek proof? of the
day before to be this day now, or to live this day, only with justification of
tomorrow. Yesterday and tomorrow are virtual...the here and now is not.
Yesterdays and tomorrows are but vague imagery, and the inner world of me is
only an approximation of the outer world, I can know only in approximations, I
can only approximate what I feel. Darkly formed from inborn portals leading to
a small portion of creation am I. Of my limitations and imperfections am I
formed from the magic of my sensations. What else can I be? but within the
light of magic. What else is magic? but of the world unseen. How else can I
see? but by the light of uncertainty. How can I know me?..but by the shadows my
body cast. And the child in me, first and last, is drawn to so much beyond me.
Magic entertains...now I see, now I don't. Therefore, shall I always deny what
I see, what I feel because so much of what is real is only a small part of what
is whole? No, I think not. No, I won't
12 Far
and away, I sense enormous extremes. I sense hostile matter rebelling from the
pressure of itself, and vast empty space passive to itself. Between the stars,
between galaxies of stars is murky darkness...vast regions into which light
enters and indefinitely remains. Within these oceans of space, there are only occasional
wisps and whispers of movement by strange elementals from faraway
places..filaments of material definition that web and give form to the vast
mind there. Giant radiant bodies abound, and throughout the oceans of space,
they have no bounds in Will, as the fabric of substance is released, as threads
of radiant consciousness travel freely throughout the clear passageways of
void, moving swiftly as gentle currents of space and time. Countless radiant
stars expanded and reddened from age, are on the verge of their own final
collapse..yielding to the wisdom of change, as space yields to the dint of its
fading light. And only by the destiny of convoluted light, do the shadows of my
convolutions, willingly approach the light revolting, within the silence of
space
13 Needed
by all, I am forgotten only by those in constant action and reaction to all.
Known as nothing, or facilitator of the mind, and having no dimensions of time,
I nevertheless exist..always giving, always permitting even the least of substance
to be, whatever it should happen to be. Only through I, does light begin where
matter ends, or where matter begins and light ends. As space for logic, I
remain sizeless..at the most, relative, where anywhere of me permits freedom
for all. And ageless, I inspire unity and division, so a self may see itself,
so a thought may contemplate itself. For freedom to be, I am the unquenchable,
the untouchable saying, "Equality is truth. Inequalities are but transient
imbalances, unable to endure through ever'evolving light. Yet, this imagery of
me must abruptly end, since these words cannot truly be me...because how can a
word, or something? be equated to me..which is nothing"
If I was the sun, so far could I
surely see. A member of a great society, I would be. And as one center of space
and time, I would be traveling amid the starry relations, I would be emitting
fine filaments of space in all directions, I would feel others like me shining
brightly..I would feel those much older than I, red and swelling in their
ending. In the vast void, I am small, and my existence is but a remote outpost
of time. I feel the history of others through great rivers of clear space. I
feel them as some see my beginning, and some are in their end, as I see their
beginning. Like spines of a sea urchin, my body appears...if only one could see
the lay of ray, that darkness bears. Beyond the limits that substance can bear,
I am born reaching out into creation, giving my spontaneous knowing, to
whomever is in meditation around me..each growing, within my dying. Being one
origin of time, I am rebelling deep by the heaviness of my own weight. So very
large am I, that my heart is thick and dense with intense heat. Where I can no
longer withstand my greater nature, I separate..into ethers of light, into
tentacles of space..into all directions I give new variations, new directions,
new evolutions. And from so much want with but a simple need to be, my heart
silent and dormant, becomes a single seed to be some time again. And I am
salvaged from my dying. From my compulsive giving, do I re'emerge into the
changes I have made, by the changes I have become far beyond me, far distant
from me, before the capture of red passion at my end
Or if I was the Earth, the bearer
of the vanities living, I would be. Small, I surely would be, yet, as a deep
meditation in a dark misted sleep with starry dreams revolving, upon me
evolving, is the life that says, "I am," and each evolves by its own
hand, a center everlasting..each with an instinct to survive, placid or fierce,
each fated to be awakened, by Cupid's dark pierce..for which, simple sleep is a
blessing, in addition to the warmth of a fiery star nearby, with its deep
internal rebelling. Upon this star's surface does matter end abruptly, does
space become apparent so easily, does light journey so readily. In surrender to
this star, I am circling its center. Upon a spiraling journey through space am
I, basking in the light of starry bright..constantly moving, receiving its
radiance, sleeping in rhythms..resting in motion, upon my surface..bits of sun,
incarnation. Upon me, conflicts of confronting absolutes encounter and evolve.
I am the host. I enable the arbitration of histories long since past. Upon me,
the drama of vanity is played..vanities capable of denying all and everything,
but themselves. I, polarized, be the unity and diversity, the light and dark
spinning. Long ago, upon my final surrender to this dark sleep, the seasons
were born. And the living became abundant. And the vanities found a greater world
as my ethers pass through them. My airy spirits of the heavens envelop,
penetrate, pervade throughout all that lives. If only I was the Earth! upon my
surface would the drama of vanities find its course and destination through
what is seen, heard, and felt within them, because we are all made of starry
light, and so born and reborn, shall the we be, when sacred darkness dies, when
the nameless becomes conscious and bright, and a feeling, a deep emotion
becomes light
As the moon, magic spells I could
spin. The sun would become cool and incandescent in the evening. And seen in
the way the mind sees, in reflection, stirring emotion in my image, I would
move feelings, alter color, sound, and flavor. In deep meditation around the
Earth, I am the memory, the silent remains of the beginning of this small solar
world. In deep slumber, my meditation is like a dream for which, the seas are
always reaching. Gently, slowly away from shoals of bay and back from sea, I
feel the moving borders of a vast ocean. I am but a reflection of light, while
I imperceptibly spiral toward the affection of my heart. Reflections from me,
upon land and water, incandescent blue and velvet silver travels easily,
silently through vast arrays of mind. Penetrating all worlds with a bit of
stillness, stirring passion from sleeping emotion, I am the midnight sun, a
pale yellow'rd light that even in the full phase of my waning, when all is dark
and at rest from their eyes, I shine on the far side, the brilliance of a
starry body, where spirit only, is living. A silent meditation I shall remain,
giving my light freely, so my heart, the Earth, may dream