Today Aunt Emory and I went to visit Mom. Emory -- Mom's sister -- is here from Santa Cruz, California, for the Thanksgiving weekend. When we first greeted Mom in the upstairs living room at Sunrise, she did not seem to recognize us, or even focus on us. This often happens; so I have gotten used to simply "hanging out" with her for a while until she begins to focus.
We wheeled her back to her room, and played a videotape of "My Fair Lady." One of the Sunrise staff brought Mom her Thanksgiving meal, which she began to eat from a tray on her wheel chair.
I was pleased to see that it was an excellent meal. In fact, all Mom's meals seem to be very good these days.
She had been in another facility where the meals started off good, but later, they suddenly went downhill. At the same time the owner cut back on such treats as juice in the afternoon, and he raised prices. Some of us called these the "Maui Condo" rate increases -- more bucks for the owner, less service for the clients.
I like the signs now that Mom is getting very good care, whether from the two aides who help her bath or through a good meal on the table.
We watched "My Fair Lady" while she ate; then we had to go. I asked Mom what she thought of the film, and she said, "It was wonderful." I liked that -- a full sentence! And it was good that she had been able to focus enough to enjoy the film.
Then she managed another sentence: "I've been expecting you for days and day." I had been too busy to visit the previous weekend; so it had been about ten days since my last visit. Mom's comment was matter of fact, not reproachful, and I actually felt good about it -- she really did notice whether or not I was there.
A few hours later, back at home, there were eleven of us gathered for our own Thanksgiving dinner. As the resident historian, I am always expected to prepare a brief reading for this day. Often I choose a section from William Bradford's Plymouth Plantation. But today I choose another source, John Winthrop's Arbella Sermon, delivered in 1630 on board the ship Arbella on the North Atlantic. Winthrop was leading a group of about one thousand immigrants to the New World. I think there were ten ships in all. Those aboard the Arbella heard Winthrop's vision of the sort of community they hoped to build in America:
"We must be knit together in this work as one man."We must entertain each other in brotherly affection; we must be willing to abridge ourselves of our superfluities, for the supply of other's necessities; we must uphold a familiar commerce together in all meekness, gentleness, patience and liberality.
"We must delight in each other, make other's conditions our own, rejoice together, mourn together, labor and suffer together: always having before our eyes our commission and community in the work -- our community as members of the same body."
I finished the reading, and a few minutes latter we were at the table eating turkey, drinking wine, talking together.
Now and then, in my mind, I drifted away from the table and thought about Mom in her little room a few miles away....